Things I Learned While Reading Fairy Tales

1. If you marry an unusually ugly person, or an animal that can speak, they are really a prince or princess under a curse. Love them with all your heart and say so. You may want to kiss them (and you should), but under no circumstances must you look at their uncursed form at night, nor attempt to break the curse yourself, no matter what your mother or sisters might tell you (they're just jealous anyway). If you do, you will have destroyed your every happiness three days or less before the curse was to end of its own accord.

2. Your step-mother is evil, and probably wants to kill you. Her hatred will not be satiated by you running away, and she will find you. She can probably do magic too, so if you see any strange woman coming, stay inside. Do not talk to her, or go outside, and for the love of God, don't eat anything she offers you.

3. Be nice to old people. Share your food with them if they ask, even if you don't have much to offer. Listen to the advice they give you, even if it sounds ridiculous. Be courteous and respectful at all times. Sell your cow to them for beans. If you don't something awful will happen to you.

4. Be nice to animals. Especially ones that can speak. Chances are, if it begs for its life, and promises you a reward or friendship, you will probably need it later on. On a related note, eleven lions tied together make a terrific raft. Also, listen when an animal tells you something; if a fox (or other furry beast) says it, it's probably important.

5. Terrible things come in threes. Giants, impossible tasks, plots against your life, all of them come in threes, one right after the other. Be careful not to assume that after the first or second that you are finished.

6. Help will always come at the last possible millisecond. Your brothers won't show up until your muderous husband is about to slaughter you. You won't learn the little man's name until the last day he is to appear. Your animal friend (see number four) will not help you until you absolutely need him to.

7. If a fairy or witch curses you, the curse will happen no matter what precautions you take. Even if you burn every last spinning wheel.

8. Being the youngest son or daughter rocks. If you are the youngest, you will end up with the happily ever after. Especially if everyone thinks you're stupid. You know better, don't you?

9. Even the poorest farmer's child can marry into the royal family. All it takes is beauty, charm, a talking cat, good manners, cleverness, luck, and/or heroic actions.

10. It isn't over until you get your Happily Ever After. No matter what life throws at you, your adventures will always eventually end up at a happy ending.

O.O erp?

I guess that I spaced. Sorry. I really will start posting again everyday. n.n